Don't Drop the Soap

Amber McCormick
March 12 2009 09:58AM

peterpuck

What does a girl love more than lip gloss and watching the recruits of the Edmonton Police Department train in the park down the street from her house? Drama, that’s what.

Former Edmonton Oilers owner Peter Pocklington has been arrested on a two-count indictment. Pocklington is charged with making false statements in bankruptcy and making false oaths and accounts. Allegedly, he failed to mention his two bank accounts and storage units. Oops.

How in the name of Gainers Foods does one forget about two bank accounts and storage units when you claim $20 million in debt but assets of only $2,900.? I know when my bank balance is dropping I make plans to hit the streets and make more the old-fashioned way: busking, you sickos.

I’ve never been a fan of Pocklington. In fact, I’ve thought of him to be a self-righteous, self-serving turd burglar. Looks like I was right. This scandal has me stuck to the Internets like OJ to a Bronco. Maybe Peter should have kept Eva Pocklington’s $150,000 diamond ring rather than giving it to Nelson Skalbania back in 1976. Poor Eva. Not to worry, he replaced it later in the '90s with one equally gaudy. I had the pleasure of seeing this ring up close once upon a time. Eva was once a client at the downtown hair salon where I worked. Spoiler alert: Eva isn’t a natural blonde. Gasp!

If you haven’t had a laugh today, may I suggest a world-wide-web trip to Mr. Pocklington’s website. It’s at www.peterpocklington.com you can receive advice on “The Business of Business”. “Thoughts on Business” and “Laws of Business”. Be sure to have a pen handy you’re going to write some of this stuff down.

Pocklington is scheduled to make his first appearance in United States District Court in Riverside, California Wednesday afternoon. If convicted, Pocklington would face a statutory maximum 10-year sentence.

Finally, victory is ours for trading The Great One.

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Amber lives in Edmonton. Everyday she tries to do her part in preserving nature. Tomorrow she's pickling squirrels. Amber doesn't sweat the petty thing and she doesn't pet the sweaty things.
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#1 Robin Brownlee
March 12 2009, 01:04PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Pocklington is a liar, cheat, fraud, and a whole other list of bad names. I love how he transferred a whole bunch of assets to his wife right before declaring bankruptcy - making it almost impossible for his creditors to get their money back. Hopefully the U.S. justice system nails him. He richly deserves it.

I'm checking with Peter's accountant to see if there's some numbers that make him look like a totally misunderstood guy who really isn't THAT bad.

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#2 Archaeologuy
March 12 2009, 10:04AM
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Turd Burglar, Classic.

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#3 David S
March 12 2009, 10:06AM
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Live by the sword...

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#4 Hoodlum
March 12 2009, 10:25AM
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I wonder where Pocklington will rank on his cell mates "McHot meter"?

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#5 RLH
March 12 2009, 10:31AM
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Nice new tag line, Amber. Enter....taining.

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#6 The Towel Boy
March 12 2009, 10:40AM
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ummm...Who saw this coming?!?

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#7 BUCK75 - FMNF
March 12 2009, 10:41AM
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Amber wrote:

Spoiler alert: Eva isn’t a natural blonde. Gasp!

~So what you are saying is the carpet doesn't match the drapes?~

I still remember th day of August 9th 1988. Being a 10 year old & bawling because my favourite hockey player wouldn't be playing here anymore. I peeled the Oilers logo off of my Wayne Gretsky doll...

Then in May 1990 I was like - who is Wayne Gretzky?

I have no idea how a person who was so successful in business 20 some years ago is all of the sudden bankrupt. He owned a shit-pile of assets.

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#8 Harlie Chuddy
March 12 2009, 10:42AM
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am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman's WANT list than sex? :(

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#9 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
March 12 2009, 10:43AM
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"recruits of the Edmonton Police Department train in the park down the street from her house"

There is a Tim Horton's in the park by your house? LUCKY!!

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#10 Archaeologuy
March 12 2009, 10:52AM
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Harlie Chuddy wrote:

am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman’s WANT list than sex?

for attractive women it's likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners.

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#11 King Mob
March 12 2009, 10:55AM
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I wonder if peter has ever seen an episode of Oz?

He better kill someone on his first day in, if he knows whats good for him.

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#12 Pokie Reddik
March 12 2009, 10:56AM
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Edmonton owes Peter, with out him there would be no Oilers, and most of the "reporters" would not have a job. Be grateful for him.

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#13 Harlie Chuddy
March 12 2009, 10:59AM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

Harlie Chuddy wrote: am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman’s WANT list than sex? for attractive women it’s likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners.

especially in this sausage factory we call Edmonton.

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#14 olderthendirt
March 12 2009, 11:00AM
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for "attractive' women it’s likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners

we are talking about men here. Defination of attractive is vague when sex is availible and/or alochol is consumed.

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#15 Archaeologuy
March 12 2009, 11:03AM
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Harlie Chuddy wrote:

Archaeologuy wrote: Harlie Chuddy wrote: am i the only one saddened and not surprised that lip gloss comes higher on a woman’s WANT list than sex? for attractive women it’s likely more difficult to find quality lipgloss than willing sexual partners. especially in this sausage factory we call Edmonton.

For many of us our only hope is that the freezing cold slows some brain cells enough to allow for some poor decision making.

Or we could go to the gym and work on changing our terrible social skills, but waiting to be the beneficiary of a poor decision is the best bet.

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#16 bobchamp
March 12 2009, 11:03AM
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Checked out peterpocklington.com and under Peter Pocklington's thoughts on sports it says "Sending Wayne Gretsky to the L.A. Kings was a loss." Misspelling Gretzky?!!! No wonder he's going to jail!

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#17 Nickler
March 12 2009, 11:12AM
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Just wondering why people today have replaced the word "then" with the word "than" I see it quiet a bit in comments etc., is it our school system? Example: Older than dirt R.

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#18 Amber McCormick
March 12 2009, 11:13AM
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Hoodlum wrote:

I wonder where Pocklington will rank on his cell mates “McHot meter”?

I suspect Peter will be holding his share of pockets for the duration of his stay.

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#19 Harlie Chuddy
March 12 2009, 11:14AM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

For many of us our only hope is that the freezing cold slows some brain cells enough to allow for some poor decision making. Or we could go to the gym and work on changing our terrible social skills, but waiting to be the beneficiary of a poor decision is the best bet.

the benefit of poor decision is usually brought on by the great equalizer: ALCOHOL God bless Vodka Coolers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#20 Archaeologuy
March 12 2009, 11:15AM
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@ Nickler: you are aware that "older than dirt" is the correct use of the word "than", arent you? "Than" is used in a comparative sense while "then" is used in a temporal sense, ie " First I wrote a post, then I replied to another."

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#21 Harlie Chuddy
March 12 2009, 11:19AM
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Nickler wrote:

Just wondering why people today have replaced the word “then” with the word “than” I see it quiet a bit in comments etc., is it our school system? Example: Older than dirt R.

according to this link our usage is correct. At least mine and Arch's are. Are they not? (i compared lip gloss to sex) If not then please let us know!

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/than.html

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#22 Nickler
March 12 2009, 11:20AM
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Yeah, in my excitement I reversed the then and than in the first line, but thanks for pointing that out...it kinda screws up the point I was trying to make.

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#23 Amber McCormick
March 12 2009, 11:20AM
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@ Archaeologuy: I had no idea this would turn into a lesson in prose and verse! LOL

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#24 Harlie Chuddy
March 12 2009, 11:23AM
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@ Nickler:

you get excited over word usage? Man you need a girlfriend worse than I thought! (jus jokes) ;)

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#25 Archaeologuy
March 12 2009, 11:24AM
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@ Amber McCormick:

yeah, I'm over-educated and under-stimulated. And in my first year of University my English professor was so upset with our lack of grammar that he spent 3 month teaching it. I now know when to use a semi-colon, but cant find a job. Friggin Arts degree.

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#26 Nickler
March 12 2009, 11:34AM
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Amber you are too funny, and I am just a sad case....

as for Peter Puck, no sympathy!

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#27 nutsandgum
March 12 2009, 11:50AM
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Nickler wrote:

Just wondering why people today have replaced the word “then” with the word “than” I see it quiet a bit in comments etc., is it our school system? Example: Older than dirt R.

Dude, you also spelled quite wrong (using quiet instead). If we're going to belabour the point, you should've used a comma after comments, and a semi-colon after etc.

Just sayin'...

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#28 roughneck
March 12 2009, 12:13PM
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good read.. always intriguing when a good looking girl is so sly with the back door innuendo.... still remember the oil in the playoffs suffering through some misery and old peter puck giving the coaches a hand with player motivation. Now his desperation takes on an entirely new form. Perhaps some day I will appreciate his current plights tragedy, at the moment it evades me.

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#29 Deep Oil
March 12 2009, 12:20PM
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Amber - please note 99 was also sold with $17 or $18 million being returned to PUCK.

Trading 99 was a business deal, as the asset was going to walk via free agency.

This moment was not suprising, but you have to shake your head with PUCK hanging out with Gerald Ford and playing the tycoon, when it was the taxpayers bailing out the PUCKSTER on gainers, fidelty trust, oilers....

All this cash has to be hidden offshore.... this is just sad.

Greatest story urban myth about the PUCK kidnapping was that the $1mm ransom in cash was never returned to the ATB, they added it to his loan with the team as equity - poor taxpayers again... all of us.

If you read deeper into the lawsuits in town and in the USA.... PUCK just ruined companies

http://www.glendalegolfs.com/160/golfgear-tsunami-drivers/

http://www.citytv.com/edmonton/news_15687.aspx Former Edmonton Oilers boss Peter Pocklington told a judge today that he is dyslexic. The man once known here as Peter Puck, being sued for 100-thousand dollars U.S. by a local business man over a failed dot-com company.

http://callcenterinfo.tmcnet.com/news/2008/12/23/3874444.htm The complaint alleges Pocklington is ``a professional con-man'' who owes $12-million dollars to provincial taxpayers and millions more to American creditors.

http://books.google.com/books?id=MsXHFM84fBsC&pg=PA193&lpg=PA193&dq=peter+pocklington+defaults&source=bl&ots=zeHx5mu2SJ&sig=5VwEfhRygWZyVLFs4fkEgGIf-OI&hl=en&ei=NFG5SZ6bGZnMsAPf3YlB&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=8&ct=result Gainers default costs province $100mm

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#30 Jonathan Willis
March 12 2009, 12:21PM
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Pocklington is a liar, cheat, fraud, and a whole other list of bad names.

I love how he transferred a whole bunch of assets to his wife right before declaring bankruptcy - making it almost impossible for his creditors to get their money back.

Hopefully the U.S. justice system nails him. He richly deserves it.

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#31 socaldave
March 12 2009, 12:24PM
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no way man - in YOUR endo! wait... what?

maybe he'll end up in that prison in AZ with the pink jammies. nah - he'll end up in a federal pound-me-in-the-arse facility. couldn't have happened to a nicer fella!

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#32 nutsandgum
March 12 2009, 12:25PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Pocklington is a liar, cheat, fraud, and a whole other list of bad names.

Don't sugarcoat it Willis; tell us how you really feel :)

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#33 Chris
March 12 2009, 12:27PM
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Thank You Karma! I wish nothing but the worst for Pocklington. A sports franchise is more than a business... it is a philanthropic venture. The Oilers would have won an additional 3-5 cups if it weren't for that self centered, greasy, sleazeball!

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#34 Deep Oil
March 12 2009, 12:38PM
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bobchamp wrote:

Checked out peterpocklington.com and under Peter Pocklington’s thoughts on sports it says “Sending Wayne Gretsky to the L.A. Kings was a loss.” Misspelling Gretzky?!!! No wonder he’s going to jail!

Eva types out his website for him as he suffers from dyslexia - they no longer have a maid, cook and car service as they did in Edmonton - very small kitchen for a house that big - only visited the place once on a social note to chat with Gerald Ford - private dinner.

Pucks house here in town was purchased by an oral surgeon (name withheld), first offer was rejected by ATB - then settled on a higher price - great deal at the time and with the improvements / renovations... it is pretty cozy now.

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#35 dw
March 12 2009, 12:40PM
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For those of you who haven't had the chance to witness just how much of a scumbag Mr. Pocklington actually is, read the story from the Report on Business from back in December that gives the entire backdrop to his arrest earlier this week. Follow the link below:

http://business.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081219.rmpuck1218/BNStory/specialROBmagazine/home

There are special reserved corners of hell for guys like him.

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#36 mjsh
March 12 2009, 12:45PM
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I actually feel very sad for Pocklington. There is no doubt in my mind that he was and likely still is very shady in his business dealings. I heard lots of stories in the old days about Westown Ford. No matter how unethical he was/is it still makes me sad to see an old man go to jail.

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#37 nutsandgum
March 12 2009, 12:49PM
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Deep Oil wrote:

Pucks house here in town was purchased...great deal at the time and with the improvements / renovations… it is pretty cozy now.

Anyone know the address/neighbourhood? I wouldn't mind knowing where the most infamous p**ck (and that's not puck) in Edmonton used to live.

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#38 Deep Oil
March 12 2009, 12:50PM
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Chris wrote:

Thank You Karma! I wish nothing but the worst for Pocklington. A sports franchise is more than a business… it is a philanthropic venture. The Oilers would have won an additional 3-5 cups if it weren’t for that self centered, greasy, sleazeball!

Gretzky was walking out the door on his steam, but your quote is somewhat accurate - most players just left for more money or were traded to cut costs.... Messier (trade to NY), Weight (st.louis), Kurri (italy), coffey (prior trade), anderson and fuhr (toronto trade)....

The hockey team was used a financial instrument to srtip the monies of other assets such as Gainers and Palms to the Oilers and then out a personal salary shareholders loans - a great tax dodge if surrending the team is the end game to the primary lender (ATB). Palm used to cut a cheque every month to the oil - whule PUCK got subsidies.

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#39 Deep Oil
March 12 2009, 12:52PM
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nutsandgum wrote:

Deep Oil wrote: Pucks house here in town was purchased…great deal at the time and with the improvements / renovations… it is pretty cozy now. Anyone know the address/neighbourhood? I wouldn’t mind knowing where the most infamous p**ck (and that’s not puck) in Edmonton used to live.

I will have that for you later....just have to touch base with my Villenueve sources in regards to whether souray is playing.

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#40 Amber McCormick
March 12 2009, 01:13PM
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@ nutsandgum: I believe he live in the house near St. George crescent in the Glenora neighborhood. It's a gated property looking out over the river valley

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#41 nutsandgum
March 12 2009, 01:19PM
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@ Amber McCormick: Thanks Amber, or should I call you by your pseudonym, Deep Oil?

:)

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#42 dw
March 12 2009, 01:23PM
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@ Amber McCormick: When Pocklington lived there it wasn't fenced. My brother and I would go there once a winter and do snow angels in his yard.

I thought that Pat Bowden (owner of the Denver Broncos) lived there after Pocklington moved out of Edmonton. Can anyone confirm?

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#43 Chris
March 12 2009, 01:39PM
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mjsh wrote:

it still makes me sad to see an old man go to jail.

It makes me sad to see an old man unable to retire thanks to Pocklington raiding his pension plan.

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#44 Greg MC
March 12 2009, 01:51PM
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Pokie Reddik wrote:

Edmonton owes Peter, with out him there would be no Oilers, and most of the “reporters” would not have a job. Be grateful for him.

True, but he is still a waste of skin.

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#45 Scott C. Booschock
March 12 2009, 03:59PM
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dw wrote:

@ Amber McCormick: When Pocklington lived there it wasn’t fenced. My brother and I would go there once a winter and do snow angels in his yard. I thought that Pat Bowden (owner of the Denver Broncos) lived there after Pocklington moved out of Edmonton. Can anyone confirm?

Lawyer lives there now, Jake Chadi

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#46 Travis Dakin
March 12 2009, 04:44PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

Jonathan Willis wrote: Pocklington is a liar, cheat, fraud, and a whole other list of bad names. I love how he transferred a whole bunch of assets to his wife right before declaring bankruptcy - making it almost impossible for his creditors to get their money back. Hopefully the U.S. justice system nails him. He richly deserves it. I’m checking with Peter’s accountant to see if there’s some numbers that make him look like a totally misunderstood guy who really isn’t THAT bad.

AHAHAHAH BURN! good one.

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#47 Amber McCormick
March 12 2009, 06:53PM
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mjsh wrote:

it still makes me sad to see an old man go to jail.

Really? It makes me laugh.

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#48 olderthendirt
March 13 2009, 07:03PM
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I used then rather than than. One gets older then (becomes part of)dirt.

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