PHOTOSHOP V: YAK CITY

Wanye
July 29 2012 06:02PM

So it turns out that all you need to do to get what you want in life is plead, pout and complain in the most public forum you can find. Entries have poured in at the deadline and our heartfelt apologies go out to all of the entries that didn't make the final cut. We love you too, just less than the people who made it into the finals is all.

We just cannot overemphasize how much we enjoy these photoshop contests and appreciate everyone's hard work. After setting down pretty specific theme that alienated a lot of people in the comments section - we feel completely vindicated now that we have narrowed down the 26 all top quality entries into a final 8.

2012 Summer olympics be damned - this is the competition that is being watched by the World.

As usual we have removed the names of the entrants to keep this from turning into a popularity contest. Because a photoshop contest where a winner is announced based on the highest share of the popular vote can't be turned into a popularity contest.

ENTRY 1: THE MESSAGE

 

We kick off our finalists with this old school classic of a bomb by an author who stated in his email that "you sounded desperate, so I thought I'd give it a shot." Simultaneously summarizing our main strategy with chicks and nailing a spot in the final 8 entries? Well played good Sir. Well played.

This is a take on a landmark album by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Yes, the stylist for the Village People used to hire himself/herself out to other acts for days on end ensuring everyone looked silly. It was the 70s man, most everyone was on PCP in those days. 

Bonus points for the golden Squee on Eberle's pantaloons.

ENTRY 2: YAKIEMINEM

In our last article shaming people into making more entries in the contest we asked the question "What would Eminiem look like with Yakupov's head on his shoulders?" Well this question can now be placed in the Answered column because he looks like this and quite frankly he looks good.

Very good. 

We are loving the details on the entry too - throwing in an Eberle gangster for life headline is right on point. Eberle is a gangster for life dammit.

ENTRY 3: I SCORE GOAL

Don't think that the double entendre of Yak City is lost on us here. Grills? A bejeweled Oilers pendant? A good old fashioned barf-a-rama on such an epic scale that the makers of Stand By Me would be proud of it? Yes, yes. YES! This entry might not be the first one you would show to your Grandparents during Spanish Easter Dinner but man oh man is it funny.

Less courageous websites with lamer readers and older judges might not display this entry. We flash our best attempts at gang signs in their direction and guffaw loudly at their scorn. Guffaw AND chortle.

"I score goal!" says the Yak. "We will watch you score goal and drink beer!" says the Wanye.

ENTRY 4: SOVIET AIRLIFT

EEEE!!!! Soviet propaganda! Edmonton Skyline with superimposed cash raining down! YMCMB banner appeasing the sole judge! Cross handed pistols held in the pimpingest way possible showing us all that Yak is a man who will shoot first and look gangster shortly thereafter. 

This is a top quality entry that makes us wish we could learn to do photoshop ourselves. Oh the fun we would have if we had a fraction of this person's talent.

ENTRY 5: RUN THIS TOWN

Continuing right along in our Parade of Excitement take a look at this entry. YMCMB added to an Eminem publicity shot and a Nugent Hopkins face added to that. Taylor Hall doing a very convincing Lil Wayne. Jordan Eberle rocking a sideways cap and a bullet proof vest. Not to menton the big man standing in front of RX1 covered in hockey related tats?

Yes, this is what the creators of Photoshop had in mind when they wrote the first product spec back in 1973. Exactly this level of awesome.

Sidebar: If we were in charge of the world RX1 would actually have these very banners on the side of it within minutes. And a 5000 foot statue of Eberle on the roof with a fire groin that shoots flames into the Edmonton night every 15 minutes for the next 200 years.

ENTRY 6: GANGSTER ENOUGH

The author of this unreal entry asked us in the email if it was "gangster enough." Let's see here. Everyone is tatted up. The Nuge is inferring death to his rivals on what we believe to be a Yelawolf body shot. Hall has his face covered because he is presumably committing a crime either moments before or after this picture was taken. YakDaddy1 is wearing fur and has an Oil drop tattoed on his face and Lord Eberle von Awesome has yeg tatted on his fingers as we imagine he does in real life. 

Oh yeah and a bullet ridden Rexall Place with the light of victory streaming out into the dark night.

Yeah, it's gangster enough.

ENTRY 7: CHICKEN AND BEER AND YAK

Yakupov has already made it known that he doesn't drink nor does he go to clubs. We can't help but think he will completely reevaluate this strategy - and may indeed consider cannibalism - after seeing how happy he looks in a strip club surrounded by chicken and beer. This was one of four classic albums remade by the author who took the new album from ATL favourite Ludacris and turned it on it's ear.

All 4 were sick entries by the by and spoiler alert: He sent a NUGE version of a DMX cover that is so terrifying we will have to save it for another day. But best believe that is gonna be seen by human eyes soon too. 

ENTRY 8: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE 

Now sure this entry might not technically fit the theme of "Rap Inspired" hockey entries. But it 1) mocks Calgary 2) Shows the Octane looking sexy and 3) has a swear word in it. That says something. Something very powerful indeed. We think it very deserving in its place among the final ocho. 

FINAL SUMMARY

Knowing that many of the actual Oilers read this site on the regular is beyond hilarious. Knowing that they will see these entries and wonder when they started playing in KookyTown is even funnier. Hells Bells Yakupov himself might even find this gold mine if he is like 99.345% of professional athletes who google themselves on an hourly basis and then pretend to be offended by all of the attention.

Throw your comments below and vote for the winner. The prize is gonna be an Oodle Noodle delivery GC should the winner live in Edmonton and Area and an OilersNation Draft Party tee shirt if they don't.

Classic photoshop contest right here. It's Yak City Bitch.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 @Oilanderp
July 30 2012, 08:40AM
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#1

Being an Oilers fan: It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.

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#52 Dan
July 30 2012, 08:41AM
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It's four. It's always been four

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#53 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 30 2012, 08:41AM
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GOTTA BE GAGNSTER ENOUGH TO RULE YAK CITY!!

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#54 OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM
July 30 2012, 08:46AM
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#4 is my fav. But I've got a soft spot for my favorite Oilers game meal, Chicken and Beer.

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#55 laughing pug
July 30 2012, 08:56AM
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Gangster Enough - fits the 118th Ave ambiance perfectly

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#56 charlesincharge
July 30 2012, 09:32AM
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Give it to #3, ballsyist entry..

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#57 Archaeologuy
July 30 2012, 09:42AM
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I like to believe Hallsy is holding a chunk of Donair meat in Gangster Enough.

PS. I almost wrote Gagnerster Enough.

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#58 Stack Pad Save
July 30 2012, 10:08AM
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Entry 1 - Yak and the fabulous 5 all the way

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#59 craftyfox81
July 30 2012, 10:19AM
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Although it isn't really 'gangster' per se, #1 is awesome and it gets my vote. Love the Rexall product placement. #4 is a close second - might have been first but Yak's mustache creeps me out.

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#60 Tracie
July 30 2012, 10:43AM
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Number 6 is my fav! Awesome talent on all of the entries! Kudos to all who entered!

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#61 RyanCoke
July 30 2012, 10:46AM
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#5 is so perfect. 1 was a close second but 5 has so much detail and the faces look like they belong in the posters hanging up. Print #5 on posters and cards and I will hand those out to everyone.

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#62 Oilers21
July 30 2012, 11:26AM
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this inspired a freestyle:

uh, uh here we go now x10

Yo, the name is Yak and I'm on the attack

Flew over from the motherland and won't fly back

Buy a G6 with my fattest stack

Grab Olli Jokinen and eat a Big Mac

Fill the net with pucks, got a million bucks

tie up Tambellini in the back of a truck

I rely on skill, I don't rely on luck

And if you hate on me I don't give a ----

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#63 bdiddy18
July 30 2012, 11:41AM
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#5 - I even believe that YAK would consider the at least one of the tattoos.

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#64 DieHard
July 30 2012, 12:12PM
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#6 please followed by #1

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#65 ubermiguel
July 30 2012, 12:32PM
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Gotta be #4.

@ Wayne, dumb question: is official voting in the blog on on the poll to the right? 'Cuz we've got 600+ votes on the right but only 65 blog entries.

Due to the close contest between Gangster Enough and Soviet Airlift it might be worth a runoff vote.

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#66 Yakman1619
July 30 2012, 12:42PM
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Ok the winner HAS to be the Soviet Air Attack entry! There is some symbolism everyone is missing... The planes attacking are none other than the workhorse of the WWII soviet airforce invented by Aleksandr Yakovlev... Known commonly as The Yak!!!!! Winning!!!!!

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#67 Yakman1619
July 30 2012, 12:53PM
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From Wikipedia:

"The Yak-1 was extremely manoeuvrable, fast and well armed, and, just as importantly, it was easy to maintain and reliable."

Boom! Entry #4 for the win!!!!

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#68 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 30 2012, 01:38PM
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Yakman1619 wrote:

From Wikipedia:

"The Yak-1 was extremely manoeuvrable, fast and well armed, and, just as importantly, it was easy to maintain and reliable."

Boom! Entry #4 for the win!!!!

From Wayne:

"Let's see some hip-hop/gangster themed entries proclaiming Edmonton Yak City."

Did I miss the part where he mentioned wanting Yak posters based on historical ties to the name?

All posters are extremely well done, I only question the theme of some based on the criteria outlines by "Comrade Wanye"

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#69 DDP
July 30 2012, 02:05PM
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#1 followed closely by #6

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#70 DDP
July 30 2012, 02:05PM
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#1 followed closely by #6

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#71 DDP
July 30 2012, 02:05PM
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#1 followed closely by #6

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#73 David S
July 30 2012, 03:48PM
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Hmmm... Soviet Airlift or Gangster Enough. Tough one for sure. There's only one way to settle this.

PHOTOSHOP-OFF!!!

Who can successfully execute the Blue Steel of photoshop?

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#74 Jason Gregor
July 30 2012, 03:56PM
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@Wanye

In case you are wondering, I asked Eberle, he liked Gangsta enough...

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#75 Oilcruzer
July 30 2012, 08:22PM
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6 n 1 are da sheeeit - trubel iz dat dey be so close that a brotha don't know who gets a vote. Like the politics thing. 6 n 1 get plenty o' votes but like 4 gets in cuz no ones sure.

See?

Werd.

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#76 ubermiguel
July 30 2012, 08:54PM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

@Wanye

In case you are wondering, I asked Eberle, he liked Gangsta enough...

Only because he's in it!

Or because it's awesome. Tough call.

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#77 jayoilfan
July 30 2012, 09:55PM
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Not only an Oiler fan am I, I am also a ww2 aircraft enthusiast and sorry but I cannot vote for #4, if the aircraft actually were a yak-1, yak-3, yak-9 etc, then Maybe. The concept is very good but the airplane geek in me screams wrongness!

Sorry yakman1619, but those are English Hawker Hurricanes, you can clearly see the tail flash bars and roundel on the fuslelage. The Yak and Hurricane are very different aircraft. If you do a google image search you will see the difference.

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#78 jayoilfan
July 30 2012, 09:59PM
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I can't believe i didn't say which one i am going for. #5. love the whole rexall murals and the slogan of 'we gonna run this town'.

Which they totally right freaking are bros.

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#79 Yakman1619
July 31 2012, 10:09AM
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jayoilfan: yeah can't believe I missed the roundel... that's pretty obvious now that I look again... surely the original creator of the image could correct that?

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#80 Archaeologuy
July 31 2012, 10:39AM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

@Wanye

In case you are wondering, I asked Eberle, he liked Gangsta enough...

/Thread

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#81 Stew
July 31 2012, 11:17AM
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#4 is by far the best

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#82 InternetLanguage
July 31 2012, 11:42AM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

/Thread

For those less geeky peoples

/thread translation: Close thread

In Eberle we trust!

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#83 Chainsawz
July 31 2012, 12:27PM
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Gangster Enough is my new desktop background. I can't stop staring at it, productivity is down, and I don't care.

No offense to Soviet Air, but Gangster Enough is too epic. Someone has to be stuffing the ballot box on the right because not only shouldn't Soviet Air be winning but it shouldn't even be close.

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#84 Capricorn Chicklet
August 02 2012, 09:09PM
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Celebrity Vote Off!

Jones, Whitney, Ebs and Hall as judges.

Set it up Gregor!

#Geterdone

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#85 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
August 03 2012, 11:21AM
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Capricorn Chicklet wrote:

Celebrity Vote Off!

Jones, Whitney, Ebs and Hall as judges.

Set it up Gregor!

#Geterdone

YOU READ MY MIND!

this needs to happen

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#86 Baalzamon
August 06 2012, 12:06PM
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I'm not an Oiler's fan (so my vote maybe should be discounted) but I enjoyed #6 the most. Though they all gave me a good chuckle (particularly, for some reason, #8 with Iginla and the caption "more villians").

Am I just an ignorant Flames fan for not knowing what "Squee" means? you don't have to answer.

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#87 Rude
August 07 2012, 01:06AM
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The Red-Scare poster for sure!

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