August 31 2012 02:52PM
An epic battle rages here at the OilersNation. A battle between good and evil, brains and brawn, thinking up here (points to brain) versus thinking down here (points to groin region.) And don't kid yourself, the smart kids are winning.
Using our limited power in the wake of the putsch by Kent Wilson and Co. we have decided to do something for the morons among us and to put someone fun in charge of the OilersNation twitter account.
And by put someone in charge we mean that we agreed with everything someone much smarter than us suggested and then wrote an article a couple weeks later.
Early on in the Twitter game (like 2008 or sometihng) former OilersNation Big Boss @bingofuel decided that we needed to move with the movement. We couldn't really understand what all the fuss was about, but reluctantly agreed as it required no work on our part whatsoever. We had a script written up that allowed for new articles to be tweeted in virtual real time by @oilersnation @flamesnation and @canucksarmy and pretty much left it like that.
Kent took over and wisely put great folk in place to tweet for the Canucks and Flames peoples but @OilersNation has only been robotically tweeting links to new articles for almost 4 years now. And still we are kicking the hell out of the other sites! TROLOLOL
Recently. we were sat down by a concerned individual with considerable twitter talents who made an impassioned plea: "Seriously man WTF is up with the OilersNation twitter account? All it does is tweet links to stories. And that's it! Man, it is so sucky. You should give away tons of prizes every day and have contests during Oilers games and all sorts of good stuff. Why are you so lazy Wanye!?"
Calling us lazy is a sure fire way to be conscripted into a job you may not want. And now we present the new TwitterCzar of the #1 ranked OilersNation twitter account:
AN INTERVIEW FOR THE AGES
WG: Baggedmilk has been hanging around OilersNation since the very beginning. How did you first hear about the site?
BM: The first time I heard about OilersNation, I was listening to Jason Gregor on my way home from another successful day of scrounging for empties and chasing pigeons. One of the callers mentioned a new, hip place for Oilers fans so I knew I had to find it. However, I have the a memory similar to that of the common Goldfish, so I spent the remainder of the evening Googling for a blog run by Wanye Gretzky.
WG: Then you launched the fabulous JeanShortsandBaggedmilk.com which is quite honestly one of our favourite sites on the entire interwebs. Tell us about this wonderful place.
BM: JSBM started as (and remains) a joke between myself and my life partner, Jeanshorts. One night, we were knee deep in a case of Breezers and decided that everyone on the Internet should be entitled to our opinion. We have bad jokes and the World needed to read them. Basically, we created a place for guys (ladies apply within) to tell fart jokes, oogle naked ladies, talk about the Oilers and use naughty words. *tear* It's beautiful, man!
WG: You violently took control over the @oilersnation twitter feed and will begin tweeting on September first. What can followers look forward to? Annoying spam? RTs of Myley Cyrus bots?
BM: Now you know what happens when I don't get my juice... violence and lots of crying. Anyway, firstly I plan to spend as much of your money as I possibly can. Why you gave me a gold plated Wanye Enterprises credit card is beyond me, but I plan on using it.
That means, over and above my mindless drivel that will handed out in hefty portions, I'll be pumping out Twitter contests for GCs, running twitter games during Oilers matches for Bieber sized prizes and talking lots and lots and lots of Oilers talk. Yeah, it'll be sweet... real sweet. @OilersNation will also become the Internet's #1 place to tell me how stupid I am, so that's pretty exciting.
QUICK BREAK TO WATCH DANCING CAT
WG: Thoughts on the season ahead? What do you figure?
BM: Part of me feels as though I should gas up the JSBM Panel Van and head down to New York to start giving the NHL and the NHLPA some fan perspective on what's going on here. Do they know how cold it is in Edmonton during the winter? Don't they know that the only warmth we can expect around here, during the winter months, is the tender embrace from a drunken stranger after Baby Nuge scores his 13th consecutive hat trick? DO THEY KNOW THAT!?!?
That being said, once the season does get rolling I think the Oilers are finally going to break the playoff drought this year. Just think, last year the Oilers were in first place after the first 15 games or something like that so if the season is cut short by 67 games, the Oilers are shoe ins! Sweet.
WG: I've heard rumours of a JSBM/Wanye collabo on digital shorts this year. Can you add anything to an already deafening roar of interest online?
BM: Digital shorts?! Like the ones Astro Boy wears?! Awesome!
WG: No, I'm not talking about electric pants - I'm talking about videos.
BM: Ohhhhhhhh right right right. Yeah we're going to be making more videos for the Nation. Remember #NugeForCalder? Well, more people have seen those videos than the remake of Battleship, so I think the people are ready for a new way to cover the Oilers. Things are about to change around here.