FGD: Charlie Simmer Drinking Game

Kent Wilson
April 19 2013 12:10PM



The Ducks are in town tonight. They are this season's candidate for the "Wild Award" - the team who wins despite getting handily outshot. Anaheim is riding great SH% and SV% this year despite completely lackluster possession numbers and is a good bet to crash and burn down the road as a result.

Also, Miikka Kiprusoff is in net tonight, perhaps for the final time on Saddledome ice. He had a noteworthy performance against the Red Wings, so it would be good to see him go out on a strong one again tonight. As long the team still loses, of course.

But! None of that is as important as the inaugural Charlie Simmer Drinking Game. Long discussed on twitter and in the comments here, some of us will endeavour to make the CSDG a reality tonight with some help from our friends at Tilted Kilt.

The Rules

Many of you may be able to guess the rules to the game, but just in case:

1.) Drink whenever Charlie starts a sentence with "Again...". Drink twice if it is the first time he is referring to the topic at hand.

2.) Drink whenever Charlie talks about "feet moving" as being a key element of the game or why a given team or player is playing well/struggling.

3.) Drink whenever Charlie uses an awkward mixed metaphor or garbles a common turn of phrase.

4.) Drink whenever Charlie mentions "pucks and bodies to the net".

5.) Drink whenever Charlie talks about the need to "keep it simple".

6.) Drink twice if he mentions pucks and bodies to the net & keeping things simple in rapid succession.

7.) Finish your drink if Charlie uses 3 of the above elements consecutively. Ex: "Again, the Flames need to keep their feet moving and get pucks and bodies to the net."

8.) Drink whenever Rob Kerr signals Charlie to share memories/anecdotes from his career and Charlie keeps his response mostly bland and impersonal.

Again, memebers of the FN crew will be at TK tonight, including myself. We'll keep it simple with a $4/pint special (for FN readers only). Get your feet moving up 17th avenue or 4th street and join us.

If you wuss out and stay home, feel free to follow along with the proceedings there, be it with a case of pilsner or your favorite bottle of single malt scotch.

The Lineup

For those who still care about such things, here is the Flames probable roster for the contest:

  • Baertschi - Stajan - Stempniak
  • Glencross - Backlund - Hudler
  • Cervenka - Horak - Cammalleri
  • Jackman - Reinhart - McGrattan

  • Brodie - Sarich
  • Giordano - Butler
  • Babchuk - Carson

  • Kipper

Wideman didn't skate this morning, so Babchuk is in. Mark Cundari was recalled today, but is likely to wait to Sunday to see his first action in a Flames jersey. Brian McGrattan draws back in as does Roman Cervenka while Steve Begin and Ben Hanowski take a seat.

If the Flames don't lose with that blueline, well I'm not sure what to think, aside from maybe the hockey gods hate Calgary and its team.

Former Nations Overlord. Current FN contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.