January 28 2017 01:25PM
It's the NHL All-Star weekend in Los Angeles, California, which means all of us are forced to stop watching real hockey for three days while the league indulges itself with another profit-fuelled pageant.
But it's for the fans, really.
Karmanos Open to Selling the 'Canes
This just in from NHL insider Pierre LeBrun:
Hurricanes owner Peter Karmanos says he's open to the possibility of selling the entire team, not just part of it. Depends on the offer.— Pierre LeBrun (@Real_ESPNLeBrun) January 28, 2017
Karmanos added that he's still interested as well to keeping some of it but more and more open to selling all of it as times goes on— Pierre LeBrun (@Real_ESPNLeBrun) January 28, 2017
While it seems like nothing is immediately imminent on this front, the league absolutely needs more Canadian teams. Bring back the Nordiques!
NHL Releases Top 100 Players of All Time, Fails
The league unveiled the remaining 67 players on its list of the hundred best-ever yesterday in Los Angeles, which included six active NHLers. Can anybody guess who those six players were? Anyone?
The six active NHLers to make the 100: Duncan Keith, Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Sidney Crosby, Jaromir Jagr and Alex Ovechkin— Pierre LeBrun (@Real_ESPNLeBrun) January 28, 2017
You read that right. Three current Blackhawks made the list: a defenceman with two fewer sixty-point seasons than Erik Karlsson (who is seven years his younger), a passable top-line centreman, and a verified scumbag. I'll let you work out who's who.
The inclusion of these three Hawks meant the snubbing of several more deserving active players, including Evgeni Malkin, Jarome Iginla, Joe Thornton...the list goes on.
Bieber to Play in Celebrity Shootout
I personally can't wait to watch the Biebs lace 'em up for Team Lemieux in this afternoon's celebrity game.
If we're lucky, he'll plaster Patrick Kane, who is—confusingly—also playing in the game. I wrote at length on this topic a few weeks ago, but for the league to have the only active player in this publicity stunt to be Patrick Kane—he of the cabbie-punching, sordid past—is troubling to me.
Dear NHL: stop promoting individuals who can't conduct themselves with respect and integrity off the ice or I will quit your game and watch Bob Ross paint until I die.
Brad Marchand Fined $10,000
Brad Marchand was fined the maximum amount allowed under the current CBA—but evaded suspension—after a blatant slew foot on the Red Wings Niklas Kronwall.
That's about as obvious as it gets when it comes to intent to injure, so why isn't the league taking this opportunity to make an example of this player, who is also a repeat offender?
Might it have something to do with the fact that he leads the Bruins in all offensive categories?
Matthew Tkachuk Also Proves Slippery in Face of Possible Suspension
Flames rookie and Calder candidate Matthew Tkachuk has already established a reputation for slew footing in his short-lived NHL career.
In his recent game against the Leafs, the budding star took down Martin Marincin a-la-Marchand in front of the Toronto net. He evaded supplemental discipline.
not cool, tkachuk pic.twitter.com/2K1KRtryFd— GIF Grand Maester (@myregularface) January 24, 2017
This comes after his slew foot on the Oilers' Brandon Davidson in early October, which led to the Edmonton defender missing 30 games.
What is going on, NHL Player Safety?
Patrick Marleau Scores Four Goals in One Period
Per @EliasSports, Patrick Marleau (37 years, 130 days) is the oldest player in NHL history to score 4 goals in a period— Dan Rusanowsky (@DanRusanowsky) January 24, 2017
Patrick Marleau is two goals shy of 500. He'll become 45th player to reach 500. #NHL— Jason Gregor (@JasonGregor) January 27, 2017
But of course, he doesn't belong on the top 100 players of all-time.
Bonus: Gene Principe
The Oilers played on inauguration day and that meant Sportsnet "pun-dit" Gene Principe had a golden opportunity to wear his favourite mask.
Gene Principe is actually wearing a Donald Trump mask... SMH pic.twitter.com/jEyWHhX2yF— Jovan Heer (@DJHeerMusic) January 21, 2017