The Worst Ballot Possible For Each Award

Scott Maxwell
June 22 2017 03:58PM


The NHL awards are always quite controversial. Despite the fact that it might be pretty straightforward to, you know, pick the best player for each award, it's never that easy, as not everyone has the same mindset. While most people tend to make the correct picks, sometimes people make the wrong picks. Like, really wrong. So, it's time to expose them.

I present to you the worst ballet's possible for each award. Basically, I'll be looking at each award, and picking the worst candidate given a vote in each position. So, the worst candidate for a first place vote, the worst candidate for a second place vote, etc. While we won't know who actually made these votes, just imagine that it's Steve Simmons, or someone of that ilk.

Selke

TJ Oshie - Nazem Kadri - Henrik Zetterberg - Aleksander Barkov - Patrice Bergeron

Oshie is the most perplexing of the bunch, because he only got two votes, both of them first place votes, which means that everyone either thought that he wasn't a top five defensive forward, or that he was the best. Kadri, Zetterberg, and Barkov are all good defensively, but not good enough to earn top five votes, especially Kadri with his second place vote. I have Bergeron at five not because he shouldn't have got votes, but that he shouldn't get fifth place votes.

Norris

Shea Weber - Torey Krug - Justin Schultz - Roman Josi - Dmitry Orlov

How you can watch Brent Burns and Erik Karlsson light up the league, while watching Weber get turnstiled on a nightly basis, and give Weber a first place vote, I don't understand. Krug is actually a really good defenseman, and garnered one vote, but it was a second place vote. He's not that good. Schultz getting third place votes is hilarious considering that a bit over a year ago, Oilers fans were running him out of town. Josi is terrible defensively, so the fact that he gets votes when Karlsson was always slandered for winning Norris' by scoring points is hypocritical. And Orlov? The fifth best defenseman in the league? I'd like what you're having, kind sir?

Calder

Patrik Laine - Mitch Marner - Matthew Tkachuk - Sebastian Aho - Brady Skjei

The Calder is a rare case where this isn't that terrible of a ballot, because all these players could be made the case to get Calder votes, just maybe not where they are. Laine is only on here because three people didn't give Matthews a first place vote, and those three gave Laine that vote, so there was no other option. Marner, Tkachuk, and Aho are really good, but shouldn't be as high as they are, expect maybe Aho. As for Skjei, how do you say he's better than at least four of Matthews, Laine, Werenski, Murray, Marner, Nylander, Tkachuk, and Aho.

Jack Adams

Guy Boucher - Claude Julien - Randy Carlyle

I know Boucher fits the "we thought your team would suck, but they were actually good", but the Sens were trash when Karlsson was off the ice. You think that might have been there success. As for Julien, I like him as a coach, but I always find it funny when a coach gets votes for coach of the year in a season where they get fired. And Carlyle? He's just a straight up awful coach, and shouldn't get any recognition as a TOP 3 COACH

Lady Byng

Sidney Crosby - Ryan O'Reilly - Duncan Keith

I know this has five votes, but I'm just gonna point out that they gave votes to a guy who slashed someone in the groin, and hacked off a guy's finger, another guy who is most notable for crashing his truck into a Tim Horton's while intoxicated, and another who has a history of headshots and slashes. Your faces of discipline in hockey everyone!


Vezina

Cam Talbot - Devan Dubnyk - Martin Jones

Like the Calder, this is another case where I'm not saying these guys shouldn't have gotten votes, but maybe not as high as they are. Except Martin Jones. How does a guy with a .912% save percentage get a Vezina vote.


Hart

Brad Marchand - Ryan Suter - Auston Matthews - Devan Dubnyk - Cam Atkinson

In a season where McDavid and Crosby dominated, how can you think Brad Marchand was the MVP this year. That was probably the same guy who gave Krug a second place Norris vote. Likewise with Ryan Suter. I love Matthews, but even I don't think he was the third best player this year, not yet anyway. Dubnyk isn't a bad pick, but considering he kind of tanked down the stretch, and potentially cost the Wild a chance at the Cup, maybe not. But, you know, when I think top five player this year, I think of Cam Atkinson. Definitely, 100%, not lying.

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I'm just a journalist going to school to get the degree. Follow me at @scotmaxw
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